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POEM: A Formal Apology

Updated: Dec 2, 2019

by ANNA FISCHER - March 27, 2019


I’ve heard your cries and I’ve seen your lives shatter Because all of these little things suddenly matter. What was funny before is offensive now, All of your brilliant humor we really won’t allow. How uptight we are, how demanding we seem! Taking your speech ‘til all that’s left is a dream. Before political correctness, a long time ago, Oh, how we liberals have sunk so low. And what is it for? This price you must pay? The New White Man’s burden, what stands in your way? Giving women a choice, Giving minorities a voice. “But ALL lives matter!” And why yes, that’s true But don’t you think the oppressed need a little more attention than you? Oh, my dear comrades, I spoke out of turn Because of course it’s not YOU who must learn About Queerness and Pronouns and such. Oh, these made up identities are so too much! “Anxiety and depression? They didn’t have those back in my day!” The first case recorded in Mesopotamia, ancient day. I’ve lost track again, where were we? Right. Apologizing. Can’t even make jokes about 9/11! The Muslim girl you’ve now offended Or laugh about retards, faggots, and sluts “Freedom of speech!” Open mouth, eyes shut. Can you imagine someone taking away your basic American rights? Like marriage and college and standing up to fight For what you believe in? How dare they regulate what you can do! All those lying women screaming “Me Too!” After all– you didn’t rape someone, not all of us do But it’s about those who were violated, and not about you. Oops– I’ve messed up again, silly old me Forgetting to think, my consequences I don’t see. Oh dear I hope I haven’t offended you, I have? Hang on now– Let me explain, All of your cries have not been in vain But the thing is, we’ve always listened to you. And your jokes aren’t funny, they aren’t witty or smart They’re just ignorant and childish and disgusting, Making fun of art. So, yeah, shut up maybe once or twice in your day, And maybe start to listen what others have to say. Why can’t women go shirtless too? Why is a feminine man so wrong to you? And why does the color of someone’s skin make you suspicious? Why did we ever think humor had to be vicious? So I’m sorry if your feelings are hurt, my friends, Yet here we are, we’ve come to the end But it’s not the end. The name calling you hold so dear, is something that keeps so many of us living in fear. Have some respect for your fellow human, Let’s all try to make the world kinder, If we can.

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