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Calling All The Monsters

Updated: Jan 15, 2021

by SYDNEY CHURCH - January 12, 2021 - Reviewing and ranking energy drinks, the holy grail for all high school students.

As a high school senior in AP and honors classes who gets little to no sleep every night, I find myself often relying on energy drinks to get me through long days filled with studying, tests, and some more studying. So, I decided to see once and for all which drink could withstand the ultimate test: finals week.

I’ve decided to rank each drink on three basic factors: taste, can presentation, and my ability to survive finals week after drinking it.

#1 Monster Juice Papillion

Taste: 9/10 - this is SO good, not a traditional flavor I thought I’d like but I really do

Presentation: 10/10 wonderful, beautiful, I want to hang it on my wall

Can I survive finals week?: No but I would definitely try

Overall Rating: 10/10

Thoughts: This one is my favorite by far. The taste is really interesting, more fruity than I expected it to be but it was really good. The can is beautiful and I really just like looking at it.

#2 Cotton Candy Bang

Taste: 7/10 - tastes like blue raspberry

Presentation: 3/10 - boring

Can I survive finals week?: No

Overall Rating: 8/10

Thoughts: This was my original go-to energy drink. I would still drink this any day of the week, but I don’t think it’s my favorite anymore.

#3 Monster Energy Zero Ultra

Taste: 8/10 - less intense than a normal monster, more refreshing

Presentation: 5/10 - boring colors but the texture makes up for it

Can I survive finals week?: There’s a pretty good chance

Overall Rating: 7/10

Thoughts: I tried this after trying the original Monster and was surprisingly impressed. Monsters were never my drink of choice, but I think the flavors they offer are really good.

#4 Frose Rose Bang

Taste: 6/10 - really weird, but not bad, taste

Presentation: 5/10 - boring but prettier colors

Can I survive finals week?: Probably not

Overall Rating: 7/10

Thoughts: I’ve had this one before too. I had heard really positive things about it, but overall, I wasn’t impressed. It wouldn’t be my first choice.

#5 Monster Juice Khaotic

Taste: 5/10 - tastes like orange candy, I don’t like orange candy

Presentation: 8/10 - I LOVE BUTTERFLIES, loses a few points for the color

Can I survive finals week?: I wouldn’t want to

Overall Rating: 7/10

Thoughts: I initially really loved the look of this one because butterflies are kind of my thing. I really don’t like the flavor, but it wasn’t awful.

#6 Adrenaline Shoc Fruit Punch

Taste: 7/10 - also weirdly tastes like blue raspberry

Presentation: 2/10

Can I survive finals week?: There’s a chance

Overall Rating: 6/10

Thoughts: These look really boring but taste better than you’d think. This is probably my favorite flavor of Adrenaline.

#7 Amino Energy Blueberry Lemonade

Taste: 6/10 - tastes really good but has a weird aftertaste

Presentation: 3/10

Can I survive finals week?: No

Overall Rating: 5/10

Thoughts: This was one I had never heard about before trying. This was probably the worst overall. I didn't like the taste and the can could have definitely been nicer looking.

None of these drinks gave me the energy to survive a full week of tests with no sleep. But, I did find a few new favorites. My parents may not support my energy drink obsession, but at least they don’t have to worry about me exclusively drinking Cotton Candy Bang anymore. I have definitely continued to drink my fair share of them, but I now find myself reaching for the pretty Monster cans with butterflies on it instead.

Disclaimer: Please remember that any of these drinks, if consumed in large quantities, can be extremely dangerous. Make sure to get enough sleep, drink water, fuel your body, and do your best on your finals! Keep on keeping on.

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