by VIVIANO SIMMONS DEREK - May 8, 2019
I’ve wanted to talk to you since long ago, when you were still guiding me through the unknown corridors of my life as the only light that made it less dark.
Those were the days, when you marvelously shaped reality to make a 9 year old forget the feuds of grown-ups. The air was filled with tension and the warmth that a family was supposed to provide faded away.
How wonderful were the adventures that we had daily-chasing dragons, visiting the cosmos, traveling where no one has ever gone before….
And then came the day when you had to let go of me-at the worst moment, I should say, when I most needed you, when my life was at a turning point, when reality was just too real to face, when my family was shredding into little pieces.
It took me a long time to forgive you.
While you were gone, I lived my life as a new person. I managed to keep pace with time, make friends, continue my studies, grow, learn, fail, repeat. I changed.
At this moment of my life, I want to apologize for judging you with such harshness. You were meant to leave me at some point, and the day you left, you were sure that I was prepared to embrace life with open arms. One can’t stay a child forever.
You already knew this, but here’s what I have learned: Life isn’t all pink and rainbows and sunshines; life is grey, and it will hit you hard and lift you up and push you down as many times as it wants… but you can’t get angry. You have a choice: go against the current, overcome and win, or just give up.
You have been preparing me for this since the day I was born, yet I didn’t realize why you let me wander by myself like a father when he lets go of his son on a bike before he knows he’s even ready.
The past no longer belongs to us. I can’t change the way I am because I already like who I am, and the future that lies ahead I will have to earn.
You’re my second father, a friend, and a teacher. I’m sorry for not realizing this earlier.
But most importantly. Thank you.