Assistant Copy Editor
October 24, 2021
I am not someone who claims Halloween is the best day of the year—here’s my reasoning, as told through my pitiful experiences.
Let's kick off with a classic: Chinese food for Halloween (don’t ask me why I have such a vivid memory of this). The story begins when my fifth-grade class was asked to write about our favorite Halloween. This was when I hit a wall. If you have not guessed already, I am not an avid Halloween-goer, so what did my 10-year-old self do? I romanticized my last Halloween: the one where my dad brought home Chinese food. After eating, I passed out candy and sat bored on the stairs, watching for trick-or-treaters outside the window. However, I’m sure the way delusional 10-year-old me worded it was along the lines “and I lept when I saw a trick-or-treater approaching, giddy with excitement!” even though I knew it was not in any way close to that exciting. In fact, I was praying that the kids would call it a night so I could be left undisturbed. I almost made myself believe it was a good Halloween. 5/10. At least it’s better than the next one.
This was the Halloween my older sister decided to experiment with the world of Halloween make-up on my brother and me. She insisted on doing our makeup after showing us pictures of her oh-so-chic alien look. In short: I dressed up as a panda that ended up looking like a skeleton, which is NOT good if you’re trying to look cute and cuddly and end up giving off the death vibe. When responding to the infamous “What did you dress up as?” question, I told people I was a panda, thinking it was obvious. Ignorance is bliss. I was also forced to go to a neighborhood Halloween party alongside the Mad Hatter, aka my brother. Looking back, I’m not sure it was proper etiquette, considering I was not formally invited myself; my only friend was my 7-year-old neighbor, who I would tragically cut off later that year (maybe my mom just felt bad for me. Bless her). Luckily, his friend had a sister, so I went with her crew of people, but I still cannot even begin to explain the sheer amount of awkwardness I felt in that experience. 2/10.
Next up, I’m about 11 this time, passing out candy once again. Exhilarating. I could have gone out with a dope crew if I had kept in touch with my 7-year old neighbor (as previously mentioned). I didn’t mean to drop her, but I was hanging out with her a little too much for my own sanity and that homework card looked awfully tempting each time she knocked. Although, I think I would’ve looked a bit out of place in a pack of kids ages 5-7. I have a vivid memory of a 5-year-old telling me that babies are mailed to their parents as if you could shop for children on eBay. What was I supposed to do besides run? This Halloween was cute—cute in a pathetic way. I’ll give this one a 5.375/10.
Fast forward to Halloween my freshman year. I was now living in the “country,” so passing out candy was no longer an option because no kids would go trick-or-treating there. However, I did get a Lidskin ghost at my doorstep, a cross country tradition, which has been the scariest thing I’ve encountered to this day. Anyway, I stole some of the candy we bought (who knows why we bought it) and put on Freeform’s Halloween movie special. I no longer had to deal with people, so that did come with its perks. I also think it was really cold that year, so I saved myself from possible hypothermia. Present me applauds past me. 6/10.
Please do something more interesting this Halloween and one-up me. And if you take anything away from this story, it should be that Halloween and I are not on speaking terms (No hate to Halloween, though. Great holiday).