A resourceful guide to the happiest place on Earth
November 2, 2022
You may think the title is a fun implication of a guide to touring Disney, but I mean what is stated above quite literally. Walking can challenge even the best of us, and knowing how to do it properly is especially important in a place as large and bustling as Disney World. Those feet can get tired, which can be quite embarrassing! Plus, you wouldn't want to miss something while you’re focusing on your stride in all of the Disney hubbub. It’s quite a serious matter.
Now, in this article, I’ll guide you through a day at Epcot, as it's the largest park in Disney and will therefore require the perilous task of promenading extreme amounts. I will skip the basics since I assume you know how to move one foot in front of the other. If you don't, this article is not for you, and I really don’t know how you’ve made it this far in your life with such a lack of integral knowledge.
But I digress. As you enter Epcot, I recommend changing your gait to a slow trot while you adjust to the crowds. Once you have settled into the flow, adjust your pace accordingly. When you begin to near Test Track I would advise turning around, and would instead do literally any other ride. Too long of a wait for a lame attraction. Alternatively, Spaceship Earth is the perfect ride to start the day: right near the entrance providing less ground for you to stroll across and a decently long dark ride that will give your legs ample time to rest.
After building your future on Spaceship Earth, you will have to prepare your feet for the long haul ahead as you frolic toward Imagination with Figment. This ride is phenomenal and in my opinion, truly a delight. Fun for the whole family! In fact, I would suggest riding it multiple times in a row. There are no cons: your day will be enhanced as it is a sit-down ride that takes you towards the future, and it has a low wait time. Once you finally leave Imagination, knowing you simply can’t spend the whole day riding it, you are left with two options: hike across World Showcase or go on more rides.
The more rides option will follow a similar rhythm to the day you have already begun. I recommend a similar pattern: enjoy a ride, rest, and journey toward the next. Hiking World Showcase is a much braver and more arduous task to commit to, where you must be sure your legs are in their utmost, tip-top shape. World Showcase is a delight, but its reward does not come for free. Some say that makes the reward sweeter, but that's a philosophical musing for you to ponder on your own. Instead, I will just give you my phenomenal walking advice, which is this: be alert. Everywhere you look in Disney it's just more and more people! You must be prepared for such a phenomenon as it would be quite disappointing to miss a character meet and greet or a hidden Mickey due to a lack of awareness. Look past the walls of people, and instead enjoy the scenery. Unfortunately, as you journey more and more, you tire and miss things that will make you wonder where the magic in the Most Magical Place on Earth is. This would be quite sad. I recommend taking breaks when needed and drinking water. That stuff always works.
While I do want to ensure you do not embarrass yourself among the high society of Disney tourists, I also want to ensure that you have a whimsical and carefree day in the land of capitalizing on children’s happiness. And, as I hope you’ve realized, walking is an integral part of that. I hope you have learned something that you can take with you. I really think this tutorial is life-changing and I’m getting emotional thinking about your life that is being changed right now. Excuse me, I just- Ahem sorry. Go forth and frolic my friends! Walk with peace! Promenade with joy!