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Rock TV causes schoolwide mosh-pit

Arthur Michelstetter

Editor-in-Chief of Verbatim

January 25, 2024

A school-wide mosh pit took place during second period in various classrooms after Playboi Carti’s feature in “FE!N” by Travis Scott played over Rock TV on Wednesday, Jan 24.

The event took place after Rock TV aired, which uses “FE!N” as the intro song to the Westfield Sports Show.  Playboi Carti has been growing his career steadily, amassing 40 million monthly listeners on Spotify.  A sharp increase in his listening base immediately took place after Wednesday. He has taken a turn to Vampire aesthetics since 2020, though, referring to himself as “King Vamp” and dressing in red and black.

“I’m thinkin’ ‘bout dyin’ my hair red just to look like a pint of red,” Carti rapped in his 2020 song “ILoveUIHateU.”

The snippet of the song chosen for Rock TV was originally forgettable, except for fans of Carti and Scott.  The mosh pit thus left most students in shock.

“I really like the song,” Skyler Sneath recounted, “but this week, when I suddenly felt like I had to get out of my seat, I did not expect that.  It was all so weird.”

Not every classroom was the same, though.  Some students stayed at their desk tapping their feet, but others jumped to the front of the class, like Sneath.

She exhibited multiple bruises on her knees from hitting the desk when abruptly standing up. “All I knew to do was to jump, jump, jump.  I wasn’t even thinking about hitting the desk,” Sneath explained.

Make it make sense - A diagram of the events was uncovered by investigative reporters.

Finn Wagner’s classroom, on the contrary, was more like a music festival.  All 27 students in his English class ran near the board, then started moshing.

“I was like a moth,” Wagner said, “Playboi Carti was my flame.”

School counselors have observed lasting psychological damage in certain students, Wagner being one of them.  The counselors’ names are kept anonymous due to the nature of the circumstances.

“We’re seeing a huge increase in students facing delusions, especially surrounding the rapper Playboi Carti.”  Counselor A explained that, “Certain students have begun to see him as a sort of leader, in a cultish way.  This worldview has hindered the classroom severely since many kids have begun to look only at Playboi Carti and his music for guidance and have become very disobedient toward teachers.  They refer to themselves as ‘vamps’ solely in service of the ‘King Vamp.’”

Westfield High School has become a hotspot in the mental health crisis as several students have joined the Carti Cult.  The numbers have quickly surpassed the COVID-19 pandemic.

“Mental health before was something we were very ill-equipped to face,” Counselor B explained, “but thankfully the kids who have begun to have delusions are very easy to spot.”

The Westfield Police Department has teamed with local social workers to investigate the situation; all investigators remain anonymous as well. Officer Brown heavily disagreed with the counselors about the severity of the problem.

“There’s very little we know about the nature of the delusions or how to diagnose them.  We only know that those who have a love of Playboi Carti are capable of having this mental condition, but people may hide their symptoms or simply be regular fans,” Officer Brown explained.

The mosh pits did not occur in every classroom, though.  Only classrooms that have had new screen projectors and sound systems installed had a mosh pit.

“Only students with second period in an up-to-date classroom started moshing, based on reports.”  Officer Brown said. “That’s all we know about how the illness came about.  We have no clue how Carti did it otherwise.”

The Westfield High School administration did not respond to a request to comment on the new projectors and sound systems.

The mosh pit incident and the Carti Cult have quickly become serious points of concern for local parents.  Some have noticed their kids dressing differently, and a large amount of parents have noticed their kids listening to different music.

“Before, my son always listened to classic rock.  He was a purist, nothing else,” Emma Wilders shared.  “It’s like he’s some vampire now.  I think he’s too far gone.”

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