by ALEC JACKSON - November 4, 2020 - The seven closest Taco Bell locations to Westfield High School are ranked.
There’s no other attraction like Taco Bell in the world of fast food; perhaps this appeal is what led to the expansive growth of the chain. The problem with a world of Taco Bells? No one has given me directions on which ones to visit. This article is intended to help you take the thinking out of deciding what to eat. Rather than use something objective like wait times, I’ve decided to use the following categories:
Employee Demeanor: As someone who is incredibly uncomfortable talking with people, I would like to order crunchwrap supremes from employees who treat the interaction as expendable and unimportant to them. That way if I stumble pronouncing a ridiculous name like the Doritos Locos Nacho Burger it doesn’t sting too badly.
Baja Blast Crispness: A crisp Baja Blast is undeniably a libation you will never forget. Hopefully, this will be an easy 10 for everyone.
Bathrooms: It’s Taco Bell. You’ll be making a trip to the bathroom.
Could you film a movie here?: Doesn’t matter what kind of movie, but if I was a location scout, is there enough here to film a movie?
615 E. Carmel Drive, Carmel
I deducted a point from this one for being in Carmel. It’s the right thing to do. This location has not been remodeled in at least ten years, and that’s a decidedly good thing. The classic Taco Bell facade could certainly be in a film, but there’s not enough here to entice me without a large corporate donation. The Baja Blast nozzle was broken, so I had to talk to an employee. It worked after that, and yeah it was pretty good, but I’m younger than 30 so that interaction was a deal-breaker.
Employee Demeanor: 10
Baja Blast Crispness: 2
Bathrooms: 5
Movie: 5
Carmel: -1
Total: 21
925 Tournament Trail, Westfield
The man who took my order was not a Taco Bell employee; he was just a guy. I know that because the manager made him leave a couple of minutes later. I’m not sure what his motivation was to get behind that register, but it doesn’t matter. That night I met Westfield’s very own Batman.
Employee Demeanor: 11
Baja Blast Crispness: 5
Bathrooms: 6
Movie: 3
Westfield: +2 Extra credit
Total: 27
11425 Allisonville Road, Fishers
Shockingly weak shrub game from this location. With a delightfully substantial estate, they could have created a modern Eden, but instead, we are left with pretend Mexican food Chernobyl. For a town like Fishers, this level of mediocrity is not surprising, but that isn’t going to make my Baja Blast any crisper. At least it’s not an Arby’s.
Employee Demeanor: 9
Baja Blast Crispness: 4
Bathrooms: 5
Movie: 8 (It has to be set in WWI no man’s land though)
Fishers: +0
Total: 26
610 Westfield Road, Noblesville
Downtown Noblesville is a place with a lot of food that I don’t understand. The gas station can serve as an excellent lifeline, but sometimes you’re in the mood for something a little fancier. For this reason, I believe I owe this Taco Bell location a little gift.
Employee Demeanor: 8
Baja Blast Crispness: 5
Bathrooms: 6
Movie: 3
Simple in a complicated world: +1
Total: 23
13428 Bent Grass Lane, Fishers
The Westfield Road location was aided by weak competition, and this is the opposite. Within a mile, there are multiple pizza places, a McDonald’s, a Japanese restaurant, and the local titan City Barbeque. Do I like Taco Bell more than these places? Yeah, most days. Keeping with the Fishers theme, there is little remarkable at 13428 Bent Grass Lane.
Employee Demeanor: 8
Baja Blast Crispness: 5
Bathrooms: 5
Movie: 2
There’s probably a better alternative: -1
Total: 20
16676 Clover Road, Noblesville
At this point in the project, I’m sick of Taco Bell, so the ratings will start to plummet. What if that ruins your favorite location's score? Sorry, I don’t make the rules, folks. The soft drink fountain on Clover Road leaks teal gold in the form of the best Baja Blast this side of the Mississippi.
Employee Demeanor: 8
Baja Blast Crispness: 10
Bathrooms: 5
Movie: 2
Total: 25
7680 96th Street, Fishers
It’s a Taco Bell. What more do you want? These places are designed to be almost the exact same. The Taco Bell on 96th Street receives an average for every category tying it for last place.
Employee Demeanor: 5
Baja Blast Crispness: 5
Bathrooms: 5
Movie: 5
Total: 20
It looks like we’re going to need to make some room in the trophy case at the high school because our Tournament Trail location is the winner by a single point. The common thread of my meals was artificiality, and not just in the meat. People asked about my day when they didn’t care, flashy colors covered up the sleek grey kitchen, and there was only a single moment when we felt like people and not actors reading a script. To the guy who went behind the counter at the Tournament Trail location: dude you rock.