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My Toxic Trait

An open letter to oatmeal raisin cookies this Holiday season

Daniella Solares

Assistant Copy Editor

December 19, 2021

Dear Oatmeal Raisin Cookies,

You are so overlooked. Your flavor is well beyond that of snickerdoodle, gingerbread, or any other Holiday cookie. Why must people ignore you? You must feel unloved, which is an undeserved shame. But I love you, oatmeal raisin cookies. I really do.

Snickerdoodle cookies, well… they are average. Just butter and cinnamon if you ask me. I couldn’t tell you one good memory I’ve shared with snickerdoodle cookies. They simply aren’t memorable.

As for gingerbread cookies, when was the last time anyone has eaten these, let alone baked them? Do people actually consume gingerbread cookies un-ironically? I don’t think so… I really don’t.

I’m only including Hershey kiss cookies because their absence would cause this certain demographic to hunt me down. Regardless, the problem with these cookies is that they lack a certain funkiness. There’s no personality, no creativity, only one glob of chocolate molded into an unsettling shape.

So why do you, oatmeal raisin cookies, hold such a high place in my heart? While everyone’s grandma and elders would agree with me, it’s not that simple. I’m going to have to unpack it. First, they contain the single best creation known to man: oats. Oats, you sneaky little thing: doing God’s work but always left unappreciated, the base of every delicious dish known to mankind, but never the favorite ingredient. Secondly, the texture of the cookie leaves you awestruck: chewy with a hint of sweetness when a raisin bursts and seeps flavor. However, some people justify their dislike of you by claiming “issues'' with texture. Honey, just say you exclusively order chicken nuggets and fries every time you go out.

So yes, oatmeal raisin cookies, to quote Jane Austen, “you have bewitched me body and soul,” and nothing could surpass my love for you. The crunch, the perfect sweetness, the overall aesthetic is the dictionary definition of perfection.

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