If you disagree with me, your opinion is valid but also wrong
October 12, 2021
There are many varieties of candy that are given out on Halloween, especially here in Indiana. Some of them are better than others, and some of them are worse. The following ratings are my (correct) opinions so if you disagree please do not accost me in the hallway about it. It will help no one, and it will not change my taste buds.
Kit-Kat - 7/10
They’re amazing unless they’ve melted. The chocolate and the malt both add to the experience, and they’re also just delicious. I always want more of them. When they melt, they, unfortunately, become incredibly unappetizing, and they are very quick to melt.
Twix - 9/10
The perfect combination of all three components, unless you’re just in the mood for chocolate. It’s not quite the best thing I’ve ever tasted but it’s certainly up there.
Snickers - 5/10
Why would you put nuts in a chocolate bar? The only redeeming part of this one is the chocolate.
Almond Joy - 1/10
Even chocolate can’t save this one. Almonds are disgusting and this can hardly be called candy.
Skittles - 8/10
Classic fruit flavors that pack a punch. You could just eternally hand me (unmelted) Skittles and I would never get tired of them.
M&Ms - 10/10
Chocolate perfection. These transcend description and I could absolutely eat nothing but M&Ms forever.
Peanut M&Ms - 0/10
Get this abomination away from me. Why did you put a nut in an M&M? Why would you ruin it like this?
3 Musketeers - 9/10
It’s amazing but super sweet. Definitely only good in moderation, but I could easily make myself sick of them and I would not regret it.
Dots - 8/10
The red and orange ones are really the only good ones but they’re good enough to redeem the other two, and the candy is nice on a bad day.
Milk Duds - 7/10
I didn’t like these as a kid but they really grew on me. They’re hard, but they really do taste amazing. Unfortunately, that doesn’t change how likely you are to chip a tooth on one of them.
Whoppers - 3/10
Overrated and disgusting. Not only are they not worth the effort of biting into, but they can also soften and go stale incredibly quickly. They’re just not worth it in general.
Mr. Goodbar - 2/10
What is this? Why do I never see it outside Halloween? Why does it taste so strange? All of these questions will never be answered.
Hershey’s - 11/10
The classic chocolate. I could stockpile on this and eat it every hour of every day and it still would not be enough. It’s delicious, it’s perfect, and it’s even appealing enough to eat melted.
Twizzlers - 9/10
The only thing stopping these from being incredible is the fact that they’re almost always as hard as a rock when you get them in your basket. Doesn’t stop me from eating them though.
Sweet Tarts - 8/10
They’re amazing but they’re incredibly tart and shrivel up your entire mouth just thinking about them. There are never enough in the packages.
Bottlecaps - 9/10
Surprisingly good, except the Root Beer ones. The Root Beer ones punched me and took my allowance on the playground.